I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
