at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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