So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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