I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
