Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
