wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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