Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
