She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
