I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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