i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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