How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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