I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
