so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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