Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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