yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
