Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
