My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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