Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
