i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
