So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
