Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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