i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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