Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
