Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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