In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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