escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
