he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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