I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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