I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
