How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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