; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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