I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I touched a dick in church today
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