is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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