he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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