I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Randomize
