dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
