I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
