Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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