This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i think i just lost a toe
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
