You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
