Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
