Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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