her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
