cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
