so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
