If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
