I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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