Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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