Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
