I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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