You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
